Appointment Update

                                  My appointment today was awful. I knew in my heart to expect the worst, but the ultrasound tech we had was very blunt and no emotion. Right when we got there she said " The last few times the baby didn't have growth and the heartbeat was low. Our predictions today are that there is no growth and no heartbeat." Just as she predicted there was no growth and no heartbeat. She said "We'll have you get dressed and go back to the waiting room and wait on Dr. Angell. No I'm sorry for your loss... nothing. Holding back my tears I sat and waited along with all the pregnant women. The receptionist after 20 mins called me up. She said Dr. Angell had to leave to go deliver a baby. I was upset because I wanted to talk to her. They said I'll have to wait till Monday to see her. I think after receiving such bad news they shouldn't have let me leave. Maybe talk to a nurse a least? So I left and bawled the whole way home. I kept mumbling to myself...Okay, God if this is your plan, I trust you....As soon as I got home the cramping came and I started bleeding. My body knew what it needed to do. I can't wait till Monday to see her and get some answers hopefully.
                                                               10 weeks 3 days my precious Angel baby. That's how long I got to have your heart underneath mine. The past few weeks I've had time to prepare my heart and restore my faith. Thank you God for giving me peace. I will meet you again soon my Angel. Give my other baby Bears' a kiss for me. I love you forever and always.
                                                                                            Love,
                                                                                                       Mama Bear